My spiritual I

I’m a spiritual being. One that came crashing into this world a bit more than 40 years ago.

But the world wasn’t really ready for me. Or at least not the people surrounding me. My family did the best they could out of their ability, yet I always felt like a changeling.

The kids in school recognized early that I wasn’t like them and made sure I was aware of it too; in the worst possible ways their little minds could come up with. I ended up spending most of my youth alone, on my own, in a world I didn’t really seem to grasp or make sense of. All that was so obvious to everyone else, didn’t make much sense to me.

For example, I didn’t get at all why I was supposed to be upset because that person talked to this person instead of the other person and so on. It didn’t make sense to me why it would even matter if the marmalade ended up underneath or on top of the cheese, as it was still present on the sandwich. I never really understood the greatness of standing in a crowd, becoming an invisible part of the masses, watching someone perform on a stage. A lot of the world didn’t make sense.

So, I’ve spent most of my years trying to learn how to do things. Learn what seems good to know and understand, try to get along and establish some sort of connection with others to fit in. However, that last bit has proven the most difficult, as I’ve had to conceal so much of me, going for the shallow topics of things that still make close to no sense to me not to freak people out.

Whenever I try to get someone to explore something on a deeper level with me, most often the reaction is that I’m the monster in the lake trying to pull them down to kill them.

Which isn’t at all what I’m doing. I’m simply out there searching for other Enlighted beings to whom the world makes sense from my horizon rather than the one most people seem to cling to as if it was the only thing real.

Yet, after 40 years I might be close to discover some of them but at the same time that’s more or less the amount of time I’ve spent downsizing myself and my spiritual being to a tiny spark that barely glows anymore in an attempt to fit in. Which also means that those discovering their burning flames can’t yet detect mine and treats me like one of those common with little if any connection to their spiritual beings.

Can you imagine the frustration bubbling because of that?